Self-Care for the Mama's Soul

If you’re a mom and you’re anything like me, then you’ll understand that everything and everyone comes before your own self. The kids, your spouse, the house – even the needs of our pets come before my own. It’s called “being a mom.”

My husband gets up at 5:30am each day. He gets himself ready, packs his lunch, and heads out the door by 6:30am. I don’t have to be at work until 8:00am, so you’d think I’d be able to sleep a little later than him, right? WRONG. I’m up at 5:30am right along with him. Only I don’t have to worry about just myself and getting my own shit together. No, no. Let me give you a quick run-through of what usually gets done before I go to work in the morning:

I get up, shower and get dressed. I pack all the girls’ lunches and then my own. I feed the cat and dog before preparing dinner for the night, whether it’s putting something in the crockpot or marinating whatever meat we’re going to cook later on. Then, I will either fold a load of clothes or empty the dishwasher (sometimes both) before getting Everleigh up and ready for the day. Next, I’ll get Emma up and ready before straightening up the house while the girls eat breakfast. Lastly, I put the dog in the crate, shut off all of the lights, and lug both kids and 43267 bags out the door by 7:30am. Now, I love my husband. He works super hard and I know he is exhausted most days, especially working in this summer heat. However, could he tackle everything I do in the morning before taking the kids to school and then going to work himself? I’m gonna go with a strong “no.” But it’s just how life goes. Moms can handle things and run the show much more efficiently than dads can. Don’t get me wrong; there are some rockstar dads out there that can handle it all with complete ease. But let’s face it. Most of the time, it’s the mamas who get it all done.

With that being said, we’re so used to taking care of everyone else and addressing all of their needs before our own. It’s a part of #momlife. But who’s taking care of us? Usually ourselves. And then we wind up neglecting ourselves because we’re so wrapped up in everyone else. And quite frankly, it stinks.

I’m here to tell you a little bit about mom self-care. This year, I made a promise to myself to do little things for myself here and there. I love my family and everything that comes along with running a family, but sometimes I need a little pick-me-up to keep me from going absolutely insane. Within the past couple months, I’ve picked up a handful of novels and started reading (sappy romances are the way to my heart, ya’ll) every night. I used to read all the time, and I stopped when I became engrossed in being a mom to my two girls. It was something I found to be so relaxing and calming, and when I picked up a book for the first time in what felt like forever, I immediately felt a sense of relief. It was like I got a piece of Kelsey back. I wasn’t just Mommy.

I also started doing little things for myself to help perk myself up when things get overwhelming. Whether it’s picking up a cup of coffee from my favorite cafe or aisle browsing (more like purchasing) at Target or taking an afternoon once a month to get my nails done, I’m doing things here and there to take care of myself. It helps me to remember that I am still my own person, and although my life revolves around my family 95% of the time, I need to take that other 5% and do something for myself. Because I deserve a little care, too.

And I KNOW I cannot be the only mother who goes through this. You spend every waking second catering to someone else’s (usually a little person in your home) needs, and you find it difficult to make a second for yourself. And when you finally get that second, you wind up feeling guilty because you could’ve been doing something with your child(ren) instead. I want you to know that you don’t have to feel guilty. Read that again. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. 

It’s hard not to be stricken with mom-guilt when you do something for yourself instead of something for your kids. Society has us programmed to believe that we shouldn’t take care of ourselves, only our children and spouses. And I’m here to tell you: SCREW THAT. I am the FIRST person to take my kids out and about because I love being around them. I love getting the chance to bake with them or do some sort of crafts with them. I am a mom who truly enjoys her children. But, I’ve recently become aware of my need to take better care of myself. I need to invest time in self-care because if I don’t, I will become utterly miserable and unhappy. And an unhappy mom does not make for a good mom. You need to invest that time in yourself to ease the stress of everyday life – not only for you, but for your family as well.

I’ve generated a list of some things you can do for yourself to indulge in self-care. I’ve begun to start doing some of these things myself this year, and I hope to continue doing so.

1. Read a book for pure entertainment.

2. Go to your favorite coffee shop and order your favorite drink.

3. Get a manicure/pedicure. (already scheduled one for next week!)

4. Take a (looooong) nap.

5. Schedule a massage.

6. Buy yourself some flowers. (I’ve been doing this lately & keeping fresh flowers in the house.)

7. Buy that special something you’ve been putting off purchasing.

8. Go for a walk.

9. Take a bubble bath.

10. Learn a new skill.

11. Sign up for an art class or fitness class.

12. Try a new recipe you’ve been dying to taste.

13. Eat chocolate. (I’m sureeee you can find time in your day to do this one!)

14. Have a dance party in the kitchen (your kids can be included in this one).

15. Make a new friend.

16. Plant a garden.

17. Do something spontaneous (like change up your hairstyle).

18. Take a personal day and use it for just yourself.

19. Exercise.

20. Color an adult coloring book (my fave is the swear word ones).

21. Take a girls’ trip with your girlfriends. (On my to-do list!!)

22. Sleep in.

23. Light up the fire pit and sit out by the bonfire.

24. Drink some wine (or the bottle, whichever you prefer. No judgment here).

25. Buy tickets to a concert or play you’ve been dying to go to.

26. Schedule a lunch date with your hubby or a friend.

27. Visit the ocean and enjoy the peace & quiet.

28. Do some window shopping at a local store.

29. Get up early and watch the sun rise.

30. Pray, pray, pray.

Lastly, my favorite: Take a day to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Some of the things I mentioned above are super easy to do, and at little to no cost. Take those few extra moments in a day and treat yourself. Do it for you. You’re an amazing mama and partner, so why not give yourself a little time to recuperate and relax? Self-care is the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your family.

So go on, mamas. Make those guilt-free “me-time” moments for yourself. You deserve it.

♡ Kelsey