To Co-Sleep or Not to Co-Sleep?

To kick off my blogging site, I’m going to start with something that has been a MAJOR topic in our household ever since we had kids. I know that we cannot possibly be the only family in the world that has encountered the world debate of having your little one climb up into bed with you every single night or getting them into the routine of sleeping in their own bed. It’s a struggle most parents face. Whether it’s your first kid or your fifth kid – you will always always always be presented with this obstacle.

How would you react if I told you that one of my two children sleeps with us almost every single night while the other one is programmed to sleep in her own crib?

Let’s rewind to when Everleigh was a newborn. I was a first-time mom at the fresh age of 21. She was our little surprise baby, and we felt all of the emotions flooding in like Niagara Falls when that little 7lb 2oz baby girl was handed to us in the hospital. When we took our little one home (mind you, “home” at the time was the finished basement of my in-laws’ house), I was immediately overwhelmed with all of the hormonal changes that occur post-baby. I was battling post-partum depression – having just gone through over 24 hours of labor, just moved into my in-laws’ a week before Everleigh was born, and I had severely struggled with breastfeeding. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was working late hours most days so we could save up to eventually move out of his parents’, and it was never a guarantee he’d be home at a decent time to help put the baby to bed. Here’s where the co-sleeping came into play.

I was on my own a lot when Everleigh was an infant. Mind you, she was an angel baby. She barely cried, ate well, was hardly ever sick, etc. However, bedtime was a struggle at the beginning because I was flat out exhausted and I sometimes just didn’t have the energy to keep putting her back down in her bassinet every time she woke up for feedings. After a few times of letting her doze off on my chest after a feeding, she was sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT by two months old. Yes, we still tried putting her down at times, but hey… I was NOT complaining about getting a full eight-hours in with an infant in the house. And if it took her sleeping on me to get that sleep, then I was sure as hell going to do it.

Of course, we had people ask us, “Aren’t you worried about SIDS?” And good lord, OF COURSE I WAS. I was always so nervous I wouldn’t hear her even if she was laying right on top of me or feel her move if she decided to roll over. However, I read so many articles on SIDS occurring while in a bassinet or crib, so I wasn’t exactly too anxious to push her into sleeping alone, either.

As time went on and a couple years passed, our strong-willed little 8lb 6oz Emma Saige came along. Let me tell you something about Em – she was a tough cookie from day one. She was absolutely not keen on the whole sleeping thing AT ALL; she probably didn’t sleep through the night until she was at least six months old. We used to have to swaddle her so snugly as an infant because if an arm or a leg managed to escape from under the blanket, it was game over and she was wide awake for a solid couple hours. The one thing about Emma though that helped me get her into her crib: the girl liked her space. And still does.

While Emma enjoys cuddles from Mommy & Daddy, and does fall asleep sitting with me some nights, she is not about to fight me when I go to place her in her crib. She simply grabs her blanket and her stuffed pig, and that girl is out like a light. And then it’s back to laying down with Everleigh to help her get to sleep.

I’m often faced with the question: “Don’t you feel bad for Emma? You make her sleep all alone while Everleigh gets to sleep with you? Don’t you feel guilty?”

And while at times I feel bad I give a tad more attention to one than the other, I honestly don’t feel guilty. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started co-sleeping with Ev, and I knew what I was doing when I got Em into her own individual sleeping habits.

Do I want Everleigh in her own bed? Yes, of course. There are times where she will sleep in her room (as you can see above), but then there’s other times where she ends up with us. I know this won’t last forever; one day, she’ll be grown and won’t want to snuggle with mommy. So, for now, I’m soaking it in while I can.

So the question remains: to co-sleep or not to co-sleep? Here’s a little advice.

It’s YOUR family, therefore, it’s YOUR decision and your decision ONLY.

While everyone and anyone will give you parenting tips and advice, at the end of the day, it’s ultimately YOUR decision. If you want to sleep with your kid, sleep with your kid! If it’ll help you all sleep soundly at night, do what you have to do to make sure that happens! If you want your kid to sleep independently, then by all means, you go for it! You need to do what fits your family best. Everyone else may have an input, but their suggestions may not benefit your family.

You do what you have to do to keep your sanity as a parent; I’m a firm believer in that.

So whether you’re putting your babe down in his or her crib or you’re holding him or her close, be sure to have a restful sleep tonight, momma.

♥ Kelsey